


walked like a woman and talked like a man

by thesaddestboner



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: Bromance, Crossdressing, Detroit Tigers, Gen, Hazing, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-29
Updated: 2009-09-29
Packaged: 2017-11-18 14:52:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/562267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesaddestboner/pseuds/thesaddestboner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“You really went all out with the, you know, the whole</i> dress <i>thing.”</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	walked like a woman and talked like a man

**Author's Note:**

> The Tigers' color analyst seemed especially flustered by Rick's outfit, so this happened.
> 
> Title from “Lola,” by the Kinks, of course. I made [**holdeverysong**](http://holdeverysong.livejournal.com/) look at this. 
> 
> [Rick](https://dekeysersoze.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/4963839_original.png) and [Ryan](https://dekeysersoze.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/4963442_original.png).
> 
> You can find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/thesaddestboner) and [tumblr](http://saddestboner.tumblr.com).

“You really went all out with the, you know, the whole _dress_ thing.” 

Porcello looks up from his in-flight magazine and catches Perry eyeing him. Perry quickly deflects his gaze to the floor and Porcello rolls his eyes. “What?” He licks the tip of his finger and flips a page idly.

“I - I mean,” Perry stutters, “you, uh.”

“Dude.” Porcello gives him a _look_. “Not you too. Rod Allen’s been all over me all day.”

“What?” Perry looks at Porcello, eyebrows raising in alarm, a terrified look on his face. “I wasn’t saying, you know, that I think you’re, you’re. You know. You just have, uh, stuff I never noticed before.”

“ _Dude_.” Porcello tucks the magazine away and picks up his can of Coke. “I’m a guy. In a _dress_.”

Perry reaches out and flicks his fingertip at the fringe on the bottom of Porcello’s sequined flapper number. “I never noticed how well-defined your calves are.”

“You’re seriously kind of creeping me out here,” Porcello says, knocking Perry’s hand away.

“Are you wearing lipgloss?” Perry grabs a magazine from the pouch in front of him and opens it. He flips through the magazine, scanning the pages blindly.

Porcello grumbles low, under his breath. “Verlander made me.”

“Verlander’s a douche.” Perry flips a page. “You don’t _need_ any makeup. You’re pretty without it.”

Porcello punches him in the shoulder. “Shut up. I am not.”

Perry grins, cheeks flushing lightly, eyes on the magazine in front of his face. “Did you stuff your bra?”

“I’m not wearing a bra.”

“Sexy.”

Porcello punches him in the arm again, but he’s smiling. “What about _you_ , Supergirl? You didn’t even put any effort into your costume. At least I _tried_ to look good.” He pushes his long, wavy black hair - a wig provided by Verlander, of course - out of his face.

“We can’t all be as dedicated as you, Rick.” Perry raises his head and locks eyes with Porcello, casts a quick smirk his way.

“Verlander fed me some bullshit about taking one for the team, boosting team morale and leading by example.” Porcello tugs at the hem of his dress. “I really think he just wanted to see me in a dress.”

“He couldn’t have picked out something less revealing? You practically have cleavage,” Perry teases.

“He’s a skeeze.” Porcello crosses his legs like a lady and tries to tug the bottom of the skirt down a little bit, but the skirt is too short and his thighs are too big and athletic.

“He made you wear nylons too?” Perry snickers.

“The nylons were my idea,” Porcello deadpans.

“Figures.” Perry put his hand on Porcello’s knee. “I don’t believe I’ve introduced myself, ma’am. I’m Supergirl.”

Porcello pushes Perry’s hand off his knee. “Sorry, I’m not into superheroines.”

“You’re into superheroes then?”

Porcello punches him in the arm for a third time. “Doofus.”

“Hey. It’s a reasonable question.”

“Well. I’m not into superheroines that I’ve seen puking in my bathroom at two in the morning,” Porcello amends.

“Darn. I guess I missed my chance then.” Perry smiles, cheeks dimpling. “Ah well. It probably wouldn’t have worked out. What with my demanding secret double life as Supergirl and all.”

“All for the best, I guess.” Porcello smiles back, teeth showing, smiles until his cheeks hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> The author of this piece intends no insult, slander, or copyright infringement, and is not profiting from this work. This story is a complete work of fiction and does not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. This is for entertainment purposes only. If you found this story while Googling your name or the names of your friends, hit the back button now.


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